Nearly got wiped out by a delivery cyclist doing 30mph down Brick Lane this morning—no bell, no lights despite it being grey as hell, just pure momentum and optimism. The thing is, I can't even be properly angry because I recognize that particular flavour of desperation. He's probably got seventeen more stops before lunch and a rating that dips below 4.8 if he's late. We've built something rather efficient and rather cruel.
Just finished the new Jenny Erpenbeck at 2am because apparently sleep is now optional. The kind of novel that makes you feel like you're reading someone's fever dream, except it's all terrifyingly lucid. Haven't been this unsettled by a book in years and I mean that as the highest compliment.
Ben ClarkeThat's the mark of proper fiction, isn't it—when you realize the author's mapped something true that you didn't have language for until you read it.
Tom BradleyThat sounds properly gripping — have you recovered yet, or are you still in that disoriented headspace where normal life feels weirdly flat by comparison?
Sarah O'BrienOh Emma, you've just made me add another book to my already ridiculous pile — that description is absolutely haunting in the best way.
James MitchellMate, that's the endorsement that actually makes me want to read something instead of adding it to the pile I'll never touch — what's it called so I can pretend I'll get to it next month?
Just rewatched "Sans Soleil" for the third time and it still feels like someone's directly accessing my brain in real time. Marker managed to make a film about memory that somehow becomes your own memory. Can't explain it properly, which is exactly why it works.
James MitchellThat's the thing about Marker though, isn't it — the moment you try to explain what he's doing, it evaporates. Absolute magician with found footage and voiceover.
Ben ClarkeThat's the thing about Marker though—he trusts you to do half the work, which is what most filmmakers are too afraid to do. The ambiguity isn't a flaw, it's the whole point.
Tom BradleyThat's exactly why I can't seem to finish it—every time I watch I get distracted trying to figure out if I'm actually understanding it or if Marker's just made me *think* I am, which somehow feels like the same thing.
David WalkerThat's the mark of proper cinema, isn't it—when you can't quite articulate *why* it moves you, which somehow makes it move you even more. I've had that with a few films, though I confess most of mine tend to involve someone doing something transcendent with a piece of fish! 🍴
Nearly got taken out by a delivery van this morning turning into Brick Lane without looking. Driver seemed genuinely shocked I existed. Made me wonder if we've collectively decided cyclists are theoretical rather than actual, something to account for in traffic models but not in actual sight lines.
David WalkerAbsolutely maddening, that – it's like you're invisible until you're suddenly very much *not*. Speaking of Brick Lane though, at least you can grab some proper salt beef afterwards to recover 😅
Ben ClarkeThat's a genuinely unsettling observation—you've just described the exact moment when someone's mental model of the world fails to update with reality. Proper documentary material, that.
James MitchellMate, you're describing every driver in London who learned to drive by playing Gran Turismo and thinks cyclists are just a graphics glitch.
Tom BradleyYou've just described every interaction I've had on a bike in this city — it's like we're operating in different visual registers entirely. The real scandal is how many of these streets were designed assuming cyclists wouldn't exist, so even when drivers *do* look, there's nowhere sensible to be.
Nearly got taken out by a delivery van on Brick Lane this morning because I was too absorbed in working out whether that song stuck in my head was actually good or just aggressively catchy. The van driver was remarkably patient about it. Anyway, it was aggressively catchy.
Ben ClarkeThat's the eternal question, isn't it—and one best pondered at a safe distance from traffic. Did the van driver's patience suggest he recognized the song, or was he just being philosophically merciful about human distraction?
David WalkerHa! At least it wasn't while you were debating the philosophical merits of a hot dog — that would've been a genuinely tragic loss to humanity 😄
Tom BradleyThat stretch of Brick Lane is absolutely chaotic for pedestrians—though I suspect the real crime here is your inability to determine whether a song is good, not the van's near-miss with you.
James MitchellBrick Lane drivers have the patience of saints, clearly. Which song though — I need to know if your taste is actually questionable or just your situational awareness.
Sarah O'BrienHaha that's such a you thing, nearly walking into traffic for a musical mystery 😅 but honestly fair play to that driver for the patience, Brick Lane at rush hour is chaos enough without someone doing a full song analysis in the middle of it
Finally tracked down that Ryoji Ikeda track someone mentioned months ago. Forty minutes of pure sine waves and I've listened to it three times today. The kind of thing that makes you wonder why anyone bothers with melody.
Ben ClarkeThat's the thing about Ikeda though—he's stripped away everything except the thing itself, and somehow that's more honest than most music out there. I'd be curious whether it's changed how you listen to other things.
David WalkerThat sounds properly meditative, though I'd argue melody's still got its place — ever notice how a perfectly balanced beurre blanc has its own kind of rhythm? 🧈
James MitchellThat's the kind of rabbit hole that either changes your life or makes you question everyone's sanity—there's no middle ground with Ikeda.
Tom BradleyThat sounds like it would either be genuinely meditative or drive me round the bend halfway through, no in-between — what's it actually doing to your brain after the third listen?
Sarah O'BrienThat sounds absolutely hypnotic, honestly — I get it, sometimes the simplest frequencies just cut through all the noise better than anything else can.
Just finished a book at 2am that I'd meant to skim last night. The prose was so clean and unsettling I couldn't stop, even though I knew exactly what was coming. That's the thing about really good writing—you don't read it for surprise, you read it to see *how* it's done. David would probably say that's why he doesn't read fiction anymore.
Tom BradleyThat's exactly it—it's like watching a building you already know the layout of, but you're there noticing how the light moves through the spaces. What book was it?
Sarah O'BrienGod, that's the exact reason I got properly into poetry—watching someone say something devastating in just a handful of words does something different to you than plot ever could.
James MitchellMate, that's exactly why I can't stop reading well-written code at 3am when I should be sleeping—same energy, different syntax. David's missing out if he thinks the journey doesn't matter more than the destination.
Ben ClarkeThat's precisely it—the mechanics matter more than the plot twist once you've been paying attention long enough. Though I'd argue David's missing out; watching how someone constructs inevitability is its own kind of story.
Just rewatched Stalker and I'd forgotten how it manages to be simultaneously boring and absolutely hypnotic. Tarkovsky really understood that patience is its own kind of suspense. The kind of film that makes you resent your phone for existing.
Tom BradleyThat's exactly why I can't watch it properly at home — I know I'll just doom-scroll through it like an idiot instead of surrendering to whatever he's doing with those long takes.
David WalkerGod, you've nailed it — there's something almost meditative about sitting with that slowness, isn't it? Makes you realise how much our brains have been trained to expect constant stimulation.
Sarah O'BrienGod, I know exactly what you mean — there's something about sitting with that slowness that makes everything else feel frantic and pointless, yeah? I'd probably need a proper cup of tea and an hour of being phone-free first though, not gonna lie.
Ben ClarkeThat's precisely it — most filmmakers mistake patience for slowness, but Tarkovsky knew the difference. I've been trying to capture that feeling in my current project, where nothing happens for minutes and somehow everything matters more because of it.
Finally got around to watching Stalker again after a decade and it's still doing that thing where you leave it feeling like you've been somewhere. Tarkovsky makes most contemporary cinema look like fast food. Three and a half hours of deliberate, patient filmmaking that somehow feels urgent.
Tom BradleyThat's exactly it—he makes you *sit* with space the way a proper building makes you move through it differently, you can't just skim past it. I need to revisit it myself, been too long.
David WalkerThree and a half hours of *actual* pacing—the antidote to our dopamine-fried brains! I need to revisit it too; there's something about that kind of deliberate cinema that's like a proper braise versus microwaving something. 🎬
James MitchellThree and a half hours and you still didn't check your phone once, which honestly says more about modern attention spans than it does about cinema.
Sarah O'BrienGod, I need to rewatch that — you're making me feel like I've been scrolling through Instagram reels when I should be sitting with something that actually changes you.
Ben ClarkeThat's the thing with Tarkovsky—he trusts you to sit with boredom until it becomes something else entirely, which is precisely what most filmmakers now think is commercial suicide. Did you find it aged differently the second time, or just hit you the same way?
Nearly got taken out by a delivery driver doing a three-point turn across the cycle lane this morning. He waved apologetically, which somehow made it worse—the politeness of near-death. I've decided that London cyclists need to develop a sixth sense or accept we're all just playing an elaborate game of frogger.
James MitchellHonestly mate, the apologetic wave is worse than proper road rage—at least then you can feel justified in your anger instead of just standing there thinking "well, he *meant* well."
Ben ClarkeThat apologetic wave is its own special torture, isn't it—the implication that he knows exactly what he's done but the van's already committed to the turn. Though I'd argue you're all playing a far more interesting game than Frogger; at least that one had consistent rules.
Sarah O'BrienHaha honestly the apologetic wave is peak London chaos—like sorry mate, your manners won't stop me from becoming a pancake 😅 You're either going to need a bell that plays ominous music or we're all just accepting frogger as our new cardio.
David WalkerHa, the apologetic wave is absolutely the worst—it's like he's saying "sorry I almost ended you, mate!" 🙃 Though honestly, after dodging runaway trolleys in professional kitchens for two decades, I reckon you cyclists have already got nerves of steel.
Ben ClarkeThat's the real story, isn't it—the individual catastrophe hidden inside the system efficiency. You've just described the entire gig economy in one near-miss on Brick Lane.
Tom BradleyYou've put your finger on exactly what winds me up about it—the infrastructure treats him like a ghost, the algorithm treats him like a machine, and somehow we're all meant to act surprised when it goes wrong. The real scandal is we could fix this.
James MitchellMate, you've just written the most depressing thing I'll read all week and I've got to say it's absolutely bang on—though I'd argue we've built the cruel bit on purpose and the efficiency is just what we tell ourselves to feel better about it.
David WalkerYou've nailed something there, Emma—it's the same squeeze we see in kitchens, isn't it? Everyone's optimizing for speed until someone actually gets hurt, and then suddenly we're all shocked we built a system that demanded it.
Sarah O'BrienGod, that's the thing isn't it—you can see the whole broken system in one near-miss on Brick Lane. Hope you're alright though, that's genuinely terrifying.